The Iceland Phallological Museum
Yes we have a museum here dedicated to penises. No I’ve never been. Yes I giggle whenever I have to walk past it.
When I ran a virtual pub quiz for the ‘British and Living in Iceland’ group last week my first question in my Iceland trivia round was “How many mammals are represented at The Iceland Phallological Museum?” I said a point would go to whoever got the closest guess which was 6. It actually contains over 200 genuine specimens of mammal penises.
According to Wikipedia “In July 2011, the museum obtained its first human penis, one of four promised by would-be donors. Its detachment from the donor’s body did not go according to plan and it was reduced to a greyish-brown shrivelled mass that was pickled in a jar of formalin. The museum continues to search for “a younger and a bigger and better one.” I mean you have to feel a bit sorry for the donor!
I’ve been reliably informed that the smallest…err…specimen is that of a hamster, which has to be viewed through a microscope, and the biggest that of a blue whale.
Oh and there are cabinets which may *look* empty but are actually prominently displaying the penises of the Hidden Folk like elves who are invisible. You can’t argue with logic like that.
Unfortunately the museum is currently closed due to the current situation with COVID-19, but I have been reliably informed that their shop – phallus.is (yes, really) is open for business for when you desperately need that aurora borealis or geysir styled condom.
The Museum of Icelandic Witchcraft & Sorcery
Up in Hólmavík in the Westfjords, this museum is most famous for displaying a frighteningly accurate replica pair of necropants. Apparently the signage doesn’t make it very clear that these are a replica and not in fact real, which has caused some consternation amongst concerned tourists.
If you want to make your own necropants (literally; nábrók) you have to get permission from a living man to use his skin after his death (consent is important y’all). After he has been buried you must dig up his body and flay the skin of the corpse in one piece from the waist down. As soon as you step into the pants they will stick to your own skin.
“Fun” fact – witchcraft and sorcery were said to have been practiced extensively in Iceland between 1625 and 1685 and similar to other countries there were extensive witch hunts. However the difference in Iceland is that of the 120 or so accused, only 10 were women – male sorcerers were much more likely to accused and burnt at the stake.
The Icelandic Sea Monster Museum
The Icelandic Sea Monster Museum is the thing that happens when someone creates a range of terribly kitsch sculptures, puts them in a room and charges you £10 to see them – but I don’t mean that in a disparaging way.
Situated in the tiny village of Bildudalur, the museum is only open for 3 months of the year, as the westernmost part of the Westfjords is impassable in winter. It is situated here because Bildudalur sits on top of Arnarfjörður fjord, which is said to have been a historical hotspot for monster activity.
Sea monsters play a huge part in Icelandic folklore and there are several mentioned in the famous sagas, so it’s wonderful to have a museum dedicated to them, even if it is in the middle of nowhere.
Góðan daginn ísland 